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Absolute Perfection: The Complete Mr. Perfect Sports Promo Series

Written by Captain Backstage

Every leap year, aside from the election nonsense that we have to put up with here in the States, we have the Summer Olympic nonsense that we have to put up with worldwide. In fact, we may have to put up with even more Olympics than usual: as it turns out, with the combined amount of televised hours of Olympic events scheduled across all the broadcast networks, there will be more televised Olympics coverage this year than every single previous iteration of the Olympic Games combined.

Now, it's no secret that I can't stand the Olympics, but I never really shared why that is. Until now. You see, the Olympics are all about one thing: the pursuit of athletic perfection. Now, I'd be all for that, but what the International Olympic Committee fails to acknowledge is that complete, undisputed athletic perfection was already achieved, during a campaign of perfection spanning the dawning years of the 1990s. These feats spanned almost every major sport, and even some more obscure games not sanctioned by the Olympics, such as Chess. What's more amazing than that is the fact that all of those accomplishments were made by the same indivudual:

Curt "Mr. Perfect" Hennig.

What follows is a compilation of every single "Mr. Perfect" sports exhibition; an amazing montage, showcasing the unmatched athletic prowess of the late, great Curt Hennig. For an added bonus, some of these promos feature Macho Man Randy Savage's effeminate brother, Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. As we honor this superb athlete with this memorial, let us all remember the three things he did to absolute perfection: anything related to sports, discarding used chewing gum, and rockin' a mullet that was pretty fucking sweet, even by northerner standards.