I had some other shit for this week's article, but this is the real story, so fuck it; I'm compelled.

I'll come right out and say it: Chris Jericho is a failure. He's a popular failure; I'll grant you this. He's also the only one who can save a Cena-less WWE, where Batista kicks out of Tombstone Piledrivers and Randy Orton has become the next Triple H (Evolution, indeed).  But that doesn't change my mind about the situation: Chris Jericho has failed, and so, he must now take a step backwards and head back to the WWE.

Why? Simple. Chris Jericho left wrestling; well, to clarify, he left wrestling over two fucking years ago. Why? Because he's a huge star! He's (evidently) an actor, radio personality, rock musician, reality TV star and goddamn indian chief. Tell me which one of those he succeeded at. No, go ahead; we have comments back on the articles now, have at it.

Didn't think so.

What Jericho is doing is the career equivalent of moving out of your parents house, leaving your hometown behind "forever," moving to LA, working as a waiter for a couple of years, then coming back to your hometown, and moving back in with your dad. Only Chris Jericho's career isn't a clever little indie flick starring Zach Braff; it's his reality, and the WWE is a place he should have never had to come back to; at least, not full-time.

Hulk Hogan made history; and, when Hogan left, he would only come back on his own terms; that is, he would only come back if whomever hired him paid him more money than the Pope.

Stone Cold made history; and, when Austin left, he would only come back on his own terms; that is, he'd only work even less often than Evander Holyfield, and get a three picture movie deal, despite not having even one leading role in any production beforehand.

The Rock made history; and, when Dwayne Johnson left, he would only come back on his own terms; that is, he'd get to push his films, get a couple more title runs, and only fight mega-stars like his childhood hero Hulk Hogan, and the man who will go undefeated in MMA until he fights Kimbo, Brock Lesnar. After he's had his fun, he'd leave again, never to return, unless one of his movies doesn't debut at number one in box office sales.

Jericho made history as well. Seven IC title runs, first ever Undisputed champion, when he unified the WWF(sic) and WCW championships, most decorated of all "Grand Slam" champions in WWE history, and hell--he was even a tag team champion with El Dandy! Who are you to doubt his contribution to wrestling history? When he returned to the WWE, it should have been on his terms.

But he's not making more money than the Pope; if you don't believe me, just wait until next year's WWE salary disclosures go public. He's not going to get a multi-film production contract; you would have heard about that via TMZ months ago. And if he does get the WWE title run he deserves, he'll lose the strap as soon as Cena's healthy, then hold the IC strap eleven more times before getting traded to ECW. The man's only thirty-seven years old, and already, he's Ric Flair. The terms of Jericho's return are more humble than those of other former stars: He'll receive regular paychecks, and he'll get to be on television; an upgrade from his current situation.

Just like the Hogan, Austin, and The Rock, Jericho is a charismatic fan-favorite, whose return to the WWE will be a huge boom for the piss-poor ratings their television programs are putting on. That's what these four have in common. The difference between himself and the aforementioned three semi-retired superstars, however, is that not only does Jericho no longer have any other options, that very fact is a matter of public record; one that the WWE capitalized upon when they re-signed him. Sure, he's gaining more money (and, more importantly, media attention) off of this deal than had he signed with TNA, but I could pay him more to do my laundry than TNA is able to pay Chris Jericho.

To paraphrase John Madden, ya just hate to see this happen to a guy like that. Ya just hate to see it.