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Not only am I truly, blissfully happy, but I'm happily posting an article about totally gay and offensive subject matter. Why? Well, let me put it to you this way. Say you had a theory, since you were about... say... twelve. Now let's say that theory was that a certain man was a total, fuh-LAAAAMING homosexual. Now, let's say that everybody in the free world said that not only were you factually wrong for being inaccurate, but that you were morally wrong, as they called you a homophobe. Lets say this guy did things throughout his life in the limelight, straight up misogynist shit, like beat the tar out of his wife every now and then, or act like a total chauvinist in public. Each act caused you to cry wolf (or, homo) louder and louder, with people chastising you more and more each time. That was my life, until today, when I get to (help) expose one of the most obviously (to me) closet homosexuals in the world of professional fighting. (Disclaimer: I'm not elated because I'm a homophobe who revels in shaming gays; I'm elated because this guy is one of the world's biggest douchebags, and society will turn their back on him for this one.)
I won't even talk at length about these. I'll just flat out say it: Oscar De La Hoya is a big gay homo, who dresses like a lady. And by "lady," I mean "French Prostitute from the 1930s." I know what you're saying: Just because he dresses like a lady doesn't mean he gets plowed like one. Bullshit. He's gay and this is my proof. Let me have my moment. 
I so fuckin' knew it, dude. I mean come on - "Golden Boy?" If this cat were any more closet he'd be a segment on "This Old House." No wonder he was such a successful boxer - he clearly excels at any activity involving two dudes in boxer shorts and gallons of man-sweat. His whole career was basically foreplay. And now that he's pretty much a has-been in the ring, obviously his 'mo side has to come out (all puns intended) somehow. I can barely type the rest of this without laughing so hard I shart myself, so I'm just going to post the rest of these pics real quick, and enjoy my petty victory for another few minutes, before I go back to being my normal, vitriolic self. 
UPDATE (especially for those who think these are fakes): According to a story being run by the New York Daily News, these photos are being peddled by a Scores West dancer (read: stripper), according to R. Couri Hay, the Gotham magazine columnist who scored the first interview with the twentysomething woman. "She says she took the photos at the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia on May 17," Hay tells us. "I fully believe she is telling the truth. She had been reluctant to talk. But now that she's being called a liar, she's ready to sell her story. And, believe me, she has a lot of details."..."He wore size 9 ladies shoes. He also liked wearing thigh-high nylons. He liked sex games. He and the girl would sit in a chair that they'd pretend was a motorcycle. He'd pretend he was the girl on the back of motorcycle. She'd be the guy. He'd grab her around the waist and squeal, 'Faster! Faster!'"
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